"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are."
-Don Miguel Ruiz
I remember that when I was very little, the biggest fear I had was of dying - or just death in general. I would imagine my parents dying, my grandparents dying, everyone dying, me being swallowed up through a crack in teh earth...but now it seems that not so many people die anymore. Or maybe, I just don't notice it anymore. I think that by now, I have accepted the fact that everyone will die at one point or another, its just a matter of when. Sometimes I even wish I were dead. Sometimes, I can't wait for the moment to come.
I wonder what it will be like - dying. Will it be like go to sleep after a long, long day? Or will it be excruciatingly painful - like holding on desperately to the last breath of life? I hope that when the time comes, I will be ready and willing, not struggling against the inevitable. Although, knowing me I will always be struggling agains the inevitable.
And all of a sudden, she felt confined - this jelly like body of an existence, stuck in a rectangular mold around her squeezing her as she attempted to break free. Everything she had done that day - everything she had done for her whole life stretched ahead of her like a downhill road, winding eternally and unknown. When was this going to end? Would she die wishing that she had seen the trees around this endless road, stopped to inspect the grass sprouts shooting up from cracks in the cement, strayed off the path and nibbled on some poisonous berries that made her upchuck?
- "Wynn Lang"
PS: My SIP Panel is this Thursday. Lord help me. |
posted by Jenny at 
